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Our older child cried his eyes out when we brought the new baby home, even though we had thought we had prepared him well. This happened a little more than thirty years ago when there existed no books to educate parents on delicate sibling rivalry issues. Over the years, we managed to ease up the tension between our two boys, but neither my husband nor I will ever forget the horror of that night.
As parents of long ago, we may have missed the boat, but I am glad parents of today have reference materials such as “Welcoming Your Second Baby” within easy reach. The book is mostly about preparing the first child for the sibling’s arrival. When and how to tell the first child, sharing reproductive information that would fit the age of the child, stressing the positive side of having a baby in the house, letting the child fantasize about the new arrival but not letting him think that he would be a toy or a playmate, showing other new babies to the child, reading baby books with the child, improving the child’s self-esteem by letting him see his own baby pictures, and making the major changes first, like changing the older child’s room and bed are dealt with detail in the beginning pages.
The author, Vicki Lansky, advises the prospective parents to work together and not let only one parent carry the burden, to train the family pets to play gently with dolls, taking care of the mother’s health and the couple’s needs, and letting the older child share in the experience as much as it is appropriate and doable.
Lansky also warns that preparing a one-year old is practically impossible; nevertheless, the parents should include him in the preparations. After the baby arrives, parents should also let the older sibling act babyish, if need be. On the other hand, preparing the older children or a teenager is another matter, and there are several caveats, one of which is: “Don’t make your older child dread the baby’s birth by talking a great deal about how much help he or she is going to be.”
Preparing the younger child for the mother’s hospital stay, calling him often from the hospital, letting someone carry the baby home rather than the parents, accepting the older child’s negative or positive reaction to the baby, and making every effort so the older child does not feel left out are significant things parents can do.
The book also addresses a few other concerns such as the siblings sharing a room, baby’s feeding time, playing with the baby, how to handle jealousy issues if and when they happen, how to help an older child with special circumstances like an adoption, a premature or ill infant, or miscarriage.
“Welcoming Your Second Baby” is in paperback with an index and a list for support groups at the end. It consists of 120 pages and its ISBN is 9780916773120.
The author, Vicki Lansky, was born in 1942 in Louisville, KY, and grew up in Westchester, NY. After receiving a degree from Connecticut College, she worked in New York City until 1971 when she and her husband moved to Minneapolis. She has been a columnist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, a contributing editor to Family Circle magazine and has written a monthly column for Sesame Street Parents magazine for 9 years. She is one of the National Parenting Center’s featured parenting author contributors online.
Some of her books are: Toilet Training: A Practical Guide to Daytime and Nighttime Training , Birthday Parties Best Party Tips & Ideas For Ages 1-8 , Dear Babysitter Handbook, Welcoming Your Second Baby, Getting Your Child to Sleep, Trouble-free Travel with Children, Baby Proofing Basics and Games Babies Play From Birth to Twelve Months, and Vicki Lansky’s Divorce Book for Parents: Helping Children Cope with Divorce and Its Aftermath.
Her children/parent read-together books are Koko Bear’s New Potty, A New Baby at Koko Bear’s House, Koko Bear and the New Babysitter, and Koko Bear’s Big Earache.
This is a book to enjoy and learn from. The birth of a second baby might be a most stressful experience for everyone concerned. The recommendations in this book, however, can turn it into a happy and memorable event.
This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.BabyNameVote.Com/ which is a site for Baby Names. Joy Cagil is an author in http://www.Writing.Com
